An Oregon Dream Fulfilled
Visiting the Pacific Northwest has been a long-held dream of mine. Years ago, I stumbled upon a photographer on Pinterest and voraciously scrolled through every one of her albums, amazed by both her artistry and the landscape of the Oregon coast. I knew visiting there was virtually impossible; I haven’t been able to find work since Violet was born, plus inflation was kicking our butts. But as I looked through those photos, aching to travel again (one of my deepest loves), I heard a strange whisper from the Lord.
He just said, “Ask me.”
I didn’t know what it meant. I thought maybe it was my own thought swirling around, convincing me to hope for something implausible. But there’s something about the voice of God that presses into your soul in a different way, you know? So I did what the voice invited me to do. I said, “Lord, I know this is a silly, impractical dream. I know that other things are more important. But if it’s Your will, could we visit the Oregon coast one day?”
Years went by, and every once in a while, I would think of that moment and ask God to provide this travel dream, if He so willed. But mostly, I let it go. “It’s too much to ask,” I told myself. Then, a few months ago, Jasper got a job with the Bible Project. That alone is an answered prayer for many reasons, but y’all… guess where they’re located? Oregon, of course.
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Before Easter, Violet and I were at a store, and she saw this stuffed bunny that she wanted. I said no; it was too expensive, and she didn’t need another toy. But then, a couple of weeks later, her grandparents gave her an Easter goodie bag, and it had two bunny stuffies in it. They were simpler—less plush and cuddly—but they became treasured gifts nonetheless. I told her, “Remember when you wanted that bunny at the store? And now you have two! Look how kind God is.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I sensed the Holy Spirit in the car with me, pressing deep into my heart again the reminder that my King is good and kind and paying attention. That He sees His children. That we matter to Him. So yeah, we booked the trip. We explored Portland and renewed our vows on the coast (more to come on that story!) and experienced the joy and wonder of a dream fulfilled. Of a prayer answered.
I promise, this story is not meant to be Mel’s prosperity gospel. The trip was (and our lives are) still hard in many ways. This world is still fallen. The list of things to grieve continues to grow each time I read the news or listen to someone’s story. Even in my own body and mind, I’ve been navigating a deep pain I don’t know how to talk about publicly. My chest aches when I remember how forsaken I felt. How betrayed and broken. Some things just don’t make sense. Some dreams just don’t come true.
But even in the thick of the worst pain imaginable, our Hope remains King Jesus.
King Jesus in His reigning authority.
King Jesus in His gentle lowliness.
The One who rules righteously over heaven and earth.
The One who collects our tears in a bottle.
The One who didn’t leave my side as trauma unfolded and justice failed.
The One who opened the doors to a dream trip with my sweet, wild family.
Man... There is so much mystery to serving a sovereign God, especially when impossibly hard stuff happens. And I don’t think we humans are cool with that tension. But to me, mystery says, “I don’t know everything, and maybe that’s okay. Because God is here. And His heart is worth trusting.”
I hope to be able to write about my pain story soon… I’m praying about how to do it well. But friend, this I know to be true, whether I’m dancing on the coast of Oregon or begrudgingly cleaning my kitchen for the millionth time: God is here. The story isn’t over. Even the most mundane, lonely, and confusing parts of our lives find sacred purpose in His Almighty hands. And where we see mystery, our Savior sees His plan at work to draw His people to Himself.
So here the Furnisses continue, crying out to believe as the voice of unbelief grows just a little bit quieter.
God is here. And His heart is worth trusting.
“We shake with joy, we shake with grief. What a time they have, these two housed as they are in the same body.” -Mary Oliver
